Telling the Bees

I've been an alley cat

2010-01-04T20:38:00.000Z

TUTTON AND OTHERS v. A. D. WALTER LTD

2009-12-30T02:36:00.005Z

The tort of bees. This is a case I came across recently in my studies. This is just the headnote btw, the case is a lot longer obvz.

The plaintiffs kept bees near land farmed by the defendant company and upon which grew a crop of oil seed rape. The flowers of rape, although self-pollinating, were particularly attractive to bees. The crop was affected by seed weevils to a degree which justified control by spraying with an insecticide. The insecticide was known to be dangerous to bees and the advice to farmers from both government agencies and the manufacturers emphasised the need to protect bees by not spraying during the flowering period and that the insecticide was most effective when spraying took place after the flowering period. In early June, while the oil seed rape was still substantially in flower and being worked by the bees, the defendants, having given a warning only 24 hours earlier to only two of the five plaintiffs, sprayed the field with insecticide, killing the bees.

On the plaintiffs' claim for damages in negligence for the loss of their colonies of bees:-

Held, (1) that, although the defendants were carrying out a lawful activity on their land and neither invited nor needed the presence of the bees to pollinate the crop, it was unreal to divide bees into the categories of invitees, licensees or trespassers, since it was inevitable from the use to which the defendants had put the land that the bees would be present in large numbers during the flowering season; that the defendants owed a common duty of care to neighbouring bee keepers since they knew of their presence in the neighbourhood, had knowledge of the danger to bees of spraying during the flowering period and had the bee keepers in their contemplation before

they began spraying; that in failing to comply with published recommendations in circumstances where a later spraying would have been more advantageous to the defendants and less damaging to the colonies of bees, the defendants had not exercised the standard of care required and, therefore, were in breach of the duty owed to the plaintiffs.

(Donoghue v Stevenson applied)

III. NATURE. XV. THE BEE.

2009-12-20T20:49:00.002Z

Like trains of cars on tracks of plush
I hear the level bee: A jar across the flowers goes,
Their velvet masonry

Withstands until the sweet assault
Their chivalry consumes,
While he, victorious, tilts away
To vanquish other blooms.

His feet are shod with gauze,
His helmet is of gold;
His breast, a single onyx
With chrysoprase, inlaid.

His labor is a chant,
His idleness a tune;
Oh, for a bee's experience
Of clovers and of noon!

by Emily Dickinson

Beekeeper's Maxim

2009-12-20T20:41:00.000Z

costume

2009-12-17T01:39:00.003Z

I guised as a bee

I met a pumpkin

buried in honey

2009-12-16T20:56:00.004Z

WE ALL LOVE HOENY!! But do you like it so much you want to be buried in it???

The body of Alexander the Great was placed in white honey in a golden coffin. Agessilaus, king of Sparta was transported home when he died in Libya in 360BC (before the invention of plastination) We can understand why, as the only truly preservable food, honey would be an appropriate liquid in the hot climates of Libya and Babylon, to keep human remains fresh on the way to wherver they were going.

But then there is the funny case of the first four Earls of Southampton, the Wriothesleys. The bodies of the Earls were interred in four sealed lead coffins in a vault in the parish church of St. Peter in Titchfield, Hampshire.

Word on the street was that they were full of honey. So when subsidence damaged one coffin about a hundred years ago, causing a liquid to trickle out at the seam, the workman repairing the church seized the oppertunity to prove the legend. He ran his finger along, then had a taste to confirm it was indeed honey.

we swoon like '50s housewives buzzing like a hive

2009-11-22T21:48:00.001Z

ACE BUZZY STRIPBEES

2009-11-06T20:07:00.002Z

My favourite band just got favouriter. They have a new record that you can download for free, so remember to say thankyou. This isn't imaterial to bees and bee blogs. Listen to Iluvya (hate version). Listen to all the songs, but yeah...bees.

ACE BUSHY STIPTEASE

Dear Marriella, My obsession with bees is affecting my marriage

2009-10-27T11:57:00.002Z

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/25/mariella-frostrup-beekeeping-obsession-affecting-marriage
Enjoy!

BEE CAKE CAKE BEE CAKES

2009-10-25T23:33:00.005Z

I made chocolate bee cakes today! This one is the queen. I think it's worth noting that I used baking powder, which is also used to neutralise bee stings, as they are acidic (unlike alkaline wasp stings which require vinegar).

Honey sometimes isn't very nice/natural

2009-10-21T23:18:00.013+01:00

It hadn't really occurred to me that there are proper animal cruelty/vegan issues with bees until I invited my friend who is a vegan along to a honey tasting event (and she said no!)

Humans have manipulated bees for our own purposes for as long as we've been able to. I can accept this; I'm not a vegan. But some of the practices involved in commercial beekeeping are both cruel and damaging to the bee population as a whole. For example, queens are killed aged six months, new ones mass-produced. Virgin queens are artificially inseminated with sperm from crushed males. The queen often has her wings clipped off to prevent swarming (the means by which a colony naturally reproduces itself).

Sometimes, the whole colony is killed off to save feeding them over winter. If they are kept in winter, they are fed on sugar syrup (the vegan equivalent of honey). As well as being cruel, many of the practises of commercial beekeepers are to the detriment of the entire bee population and other wildlife. When big bee business comes to town, letting loose its colonies to pollinate, other insects and wild bees are swamped by the sheer number: think UEFA Cup Final 2008. It's these intensive farming techniques that seem to correlate with disease and parasites.

I hope this doesn't sound didactic.

My friend (distinct from other friend - I somehow have more than one friend) made me a little office bee the day before I went on holiday. I had to keep in him in my notebook for over a month to make sure he didn't get squashed. He's been all over the place: Poland, Germany, Czech Republic, Hungary, Austria, Slovenia...This photo makes my our relationship look a lot more nonchalant than it really is.

Tonight, we're taking a look at beekeeping

2009-10-20T21:49:00.000+01:00

Royal Jelly

2009-10-20T10:49:00.006+01:00

Royal Jelly is a honey bee secrient and primary nutrient of larvae. For the first 2 days of its life, the larval worker bee will be fed on 100% royal jelly before the amount is reduced. It is royal jelly and royal jelly alone that will distinguish worker bees from the Queen who is fed on pure royal jelly for several days (hence 'jelee royale'...) With royal jelly, the selected royal larvae will develop full Queen morphology, including ovaries. The Queen will live for for 3 to 8 years - 45-times longer than the ordinary bee - despite having mutually identical genes.

When the queen larvae are about four days old, large amounts of royal jelly are harvested from their honeycomb cells. Other bees produce royal jelly, but not in the amounts that would be practical to collect. Unlike honey, royal jelly is very perishable and must be kept refrigerated. Commercial royal jelly producers often mix it with honey which they believe will preserve it for longer. Commercial royal jelly producers. Wut?

Royal jelly is believed by some to provide some remedy for a variety of ailments and diseases. These include Graves' disease and high cholesterol. Research into royal jelly and its health benefits are so far very limited and inconclusive however. Amazingly, some beauty products even purport its skin-healing and anti-ageing properties. Sure.

One of my favourite Roald Dahl stories, Royal Jelly, is about the imaginary effects of feeding Royal Jelly to a baby. It's frightening. Look at this quaint picture of Mr. Dahl's shed-cum-study to nullify the horror.

Love the honey

2009-10-19T10:27:00.002+01:00

I love honey and I also love the band Aela. They are from Iceland and have a song called Love the honey. It's on their myspace.

A music video by them:

Bees in the News

2009-10-17T13:28:00.008+01:00

Apparently, elephants are scared of bees. Read for yourself.

http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/09/buzzing_bees_scare_elephants_away.php?utm_source=sbhomepage&utm_medium=link&utm_content=channellink

Some physicists at the university I am a student at are working on a method to understand how bees collectively choose the best place to live. Using something called "complexity science," which I understand to be a sort of statistical physics, Dr. Tobias Galla is mathematically analysing a computer-model developed earlier this year by biologists which shows how bees choose the optimum place to live. With this help, the model can be refined. This cross-fertilisation of sciences could potentially be used for a plethora of human problems by building models in biology to understand the spread of diseases.

‘Independence and interdependence in the nest-site choice by honeybee swarms: agent-based models, analytical approaches and pattern formation’ is due to be published in the Journal of Theoretical Biology in October.

I'm not sure if it was the best possible place for bees to swarm, but a world cup qualifier between Mexico and El Salvador had to be halted last week because of a pitch invasion by a swarm of bees.

This isn't really news, but my friends Natalie and Rebecca gave me this bee pencil as a present from Chorlton. They went there a few weeks ago and apparently it has very many bee things. I'm going there next weekend and will report back. His name is Karl and he doesn't have any wings, but he looks like a puppet which is always a good thing. I'm collecting things to make a small puppet theatre. The theatre is going to be from a box that originally had 6 bottles of wine and the puppets will be from miscellaneous things like toilet rolls and juice cartons. I'm also going to make a stained glass window for my room, from black sugar paper and coloured tissue paper.

Telling Tales - fairytale furniture and honey vase

2009-10-16T23:19:00.006+01:00

In my very long and very cultural Summer, I went to the Victoria and Albert Museum in London for the first time and since then - very unsurprisingly - no decorative arts museums have been as good.

Obiter dictum the Applied Arts Museum in Budapest is the second best for me. It's a sort of Art Deco Alhambra with some pretty good permenant collections (rugs! glass! gingerbread presses!) not to mention some absurdly cobbled-together curatoring on exhibitions as tenuous as "Haydn and Time" (some almanacs, a bust, a pocket watch or two...). The building itself is probably the hightlight.

Back in London, we only saw a little bit of the V&A before closing time -including the exhibition we were there to see - Telling Tales. From the tiny amount the museum I did manage to see (the iridescent cafe, the garden, some Chinese art...) it was spectacular. Telling Tales exhibits the work of designers who "explore the narrative potential of objects" through their work on various peices of furniture and other design objects.

"The exhibition is structured in three sections - In The Forest Glade - design that evokes the innocence of fairy-stories is on display, notably the work of Tord Boontje. The Enchanted Castle is inspired by the rise of the novel and prints in the 18th century, and features design that parodies and questions decorative taste, exemplified by the work of Studio Job and Maarten Baas. Heaven and Hell is informed by psycho-analysis and the work reflects anxieties about our mortality."

Naturally, my initial interest and awareness of the exhibtion derived from my fixation on bees, or else why would it be in this blog?

This vase by Libertiny featured in Telling Tales and was made by 40,000 bees over the course of one week. To create it the artist constructed a vase-shaped hive that the bees then colonised in a collaborative effort with the designer to make something that defied mass production by turning it on its head; using a very pure and microcosmic form of mass production to create something almost mathematically perfect as design. Any way you look at it, the bees played a crucial role in the design of this vase - the human conceived the idea, but could only fulfil it with recourse to the bees' ingenuity.

The most beautiful thing about the vase (imho) is the concordance of the material with its utility: ultimately, the vase is for holding flowers which may or may not be visited by another 40,000 bees for their own beautiful honeycomb cathedrals.

The V&A is free, with free left luggage.
Telling Tales is on until the 18th of October.

Like A Honeycomb

2009-10-15T14:57:00.004+01:00

In my very long article about bee songs, I managed to miss out one of my favourite bands ever who have a song called Like A Honeycomb (it's by British Sea Power btw).

BSP also happen to have the best t shirts ever. I have this Recently Extinct one, which among other names includes Eva Crane the eminent entomologist who wrote some of the most important books on bees and beekeeping. I don't have it with me in Manchester (where I live now) so can't show what it looks like on a person.

Yellow and black look so nice together, like anarcho-capitalism...

I've been such a drone recently

2009-10-14T10:27:00.006+01:00

Sorry about the recent lack of posting. To make up for it, I'm going to start posting every day. Today, I'm going to flag up Lyle's Golden Syrup.

Discovered almost by accident by a determined Scot and his five sons, Lyle's Golden Syrup is officialy the oldest branded product in the world. The famous green and gold tin has barely changed since 1885 and was awarded a Royal Warrant in 1910.

In 1883 Abram Lyle sent all his sons (and all his monies) from Greenock to London to build a sugar refinery. With their Presbyterian Scots Bee work ethic, they overcame problems of bad cargoes by experimenting with the hitherto useless treacly residue made in the proccess of sugar refinery. After a bit of trying very hard, they refined further a delicous preserve and put it into casks to be sold first of all to their employees, then to local customers. Naturally, word spread quickly and within one year, they were selling ten tonnes per week.

Throughout the following ten years, the family perfected the syrups colour and flavour to create what was to be one of the most famous brands in the world. The 1921 merger with a Tates sugar firm advanced the business even more.

Today, the syrup is as popular as ever and an established brand the world over. However, concerns about how recognisable a brand Lyles would be in Europe meant that some exported syrup was in GLASS jars instead of the obvious traditional metal! In Saudi Arabia, the brand is not translated in Arabic, so people call it "Lion's Golden Syrup." And only in recent years has Lyles been allowed into Australia for ex-pats to remedy homesickness.

The Tate and Lyle refinery today- the only in the UK, and the largest in Europe

What concerns me - as a person who has a blog about bees - is the logo. "Out of the strong came forth sweetness." I don't know the bible like AT ALL, so this is a paraphrasing from another source so barely counts as something I consider to be knowledge I am privy to.

The verse comes from the Book of Judges, chapter fourteen and tells of Samson's journey to the land of the Philistines in search of a wife and of his killing of a lion on the way. Returning after a successful mission, he notices that a swarm of bees have formed a comb of honey in the rotting carcass. Out of this phenomenon Samson devised a riddle, which he asked at the marriage feast to a band of thirty young men. 'Out of the eater came forth meat and out of the strong came forth sweetness'. If the young men could not answer this within three days, they were to give him thirty sheets and thirty changes of garment - obviously a welcome addition to the wedding presents. If however, they guessed the riddle, he was to pay the same forfeit to them. Then, I've heard, the story gets more interesting, but as it becomes more interesting, becomes less relvevant to syrup and bees.

Really cool fact (because it involves Antarctica): Captain Scott took some Lyle's syrup on his expedition in 1910 which was discovered by explorers in 1956 who found it to be in good condition. Honey is the only food that never spoils...

This is probably the worst, least classy advert ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkO5Ghy-Knc

On bees and industry

2009-08-02T02:52:00.007+01:00

Behold the School of Sobriety, Industry and Oeconomy!

These words of the eighteenth century apiarist John Keys (for whom there’ll be no Christmas...) are, of course, referring to bees. Keys wrote this at the epoch of the industrial age, but since antiquity (Virgil was the go-to-guy for bee stuff), bees have been considered the very model of Stakhanovism. Through their apparently ceaseless and insatiable need to work, bees have been living up to their ‘workaholic’ reputation for centuries – putting to shame lots of wannabe hard-workers, like the President of France. It is only in the last few weeks of her life that the average worker bee goes into honey production, which she does by flapping her wings to evaporate nectar. Before this time, she carries out other tasks such as constructing honeycomb and guarding the entrance to the hive. In her lifetime, the average bee will produce the equivalent of just one teaspoon of honey – the amount I eat every day! Bees don’t even get to enjoy the fruit of their labour, and choose to selflessly devote themselves to the production of something solely for others’ consumption. This self-disciplined selflessness is what underpins the work ethic of the colony and maintains their status as nature’s model worker. For a worker bee, work is the end not the means.

The other fruit of bees’ labour is their architecture. Honeycomb is one of nature’s most alluring, almost perfectly mathematical phenomena and the subject of much research into geometric efficiency. If you like to be puzzled: http://www.archimedes-lab.org/monthly_puzzles_72.html
Architects have been influenced throughout history by the work of bees. Notably, Gaudi felt an affinity to bees which was reflected in much of his own work. His trademark parabolic structures and organic and intricate geometry remind us of the bees he was also fascinated by. Bees even featured on the posters he made to promote the Catalan co-operative movement, which he strongly supported.

Of course, not all bees are such fine examples of industry. What Shakespeare referred to as “the lazy, yawning drone,” notoriously does almost no work other than his one sole purpose: inseminating the queen. As an unemployed person who hates being inactive, I feel some sympathy for the drone, who has received an unfair amount of criticism over the years. Anyway, without drones to inseminate the queen, there would be no colony.

It’s really no wonder that bees have become synonymous with modern industry and a motif for our own rich industrial heritage. Manchester, the first industrial city, is proudly adorned with bee lamp posts and beautiful bee mosaics in the Town Hall. Factories and mills have names like The Hive, Beehive Mill &c.

On a recent visit to the (fantastic) Museum of Science and Industry in Castlefield, I enquired about bee-related exhibits and information, thinking Manchester’s very own museum of industry would have something to cater for bee fans. Alas, the only answer I could get from the archive system was Boddingtons, which I had crossed paths with already.

Queen Bee story

2009-07-18T14:40:00.003+01:00

A fan of this blog wrote a bee story:

There is a Brothers Grimm story called 'The Queen Bee'. I have chimpified it for you, because one of the characters reminded me of Kramer. Look:

A wee chimp named Kevin Shields once went out in search of adventures, and fell into a wild, disorderly way of living, so that he never came home to his mummy again. His younger chimp-brother, who was called Kramer, set out to seek his brother, but when at length he found him he mocked him for thinking that he with his learning difficulties could get through the world, when he, Kevin, could not make his way, and yet was so much cooler and friends with Calvin Harris.

However, he let him travel away with him, and together they came to an ant-hill. Kevin Shields wanted to destroy it, to see the little ants creeping about in their terror, and carrying their eggs away, but Kramer said, "Leave the creatures in peace; I will not allow you to disturb them." Then they went onwards and came to a lake, on which a great number of ducks were swimming. Kevin Shields wanted to catch a couple and roast them, but Kramer would not permit it, and said, " Leave the creatures in peace, I will not suffer you to kill them." At length they came to a bee's nest, in which there was so much honey that it ran out of the trunk of the tree where it was. Kevin Shields wanted to make a fire beneath the tree, and suffocate the bees in order to take away the honey, but Kramer again stopped him and said, "Leave the creatures in peace, I will not allow you to burn them." At length the two wee chimps arrived at a castle where stone horses were standing in the stables, and no other chimps were to be seen, and they went through all the halls until, quite at the end, they came to a door in which were three locks. In the middle of the door, however, there was a little pane, through which they could see into the room. There they saw an ancient grey chimp named Troy, who was sitting at a table. They called him, once, twice, but he did not hear; at last they called him for the third time, when he got up, opened the locks, and came out. He said nothing, however, but conducted them to a handsomely-spread table, and when they had eaten and drunk, he took each of them to a bedroom. Next morning Troy came to Kevin Shields, beckoned to him, and conducted him to a stone tablet, on which were inscribed three tasks, by the performance of which the castle could be delivered. The first was that in the forest, beneath the moss, lay the princess's pearls, a thousand in number, which must be picked up, and if by sunset one single pearl was wanting, he who had looked for them would be turned into stone.

“I can definitely do that Sir Alan, my CV speaks for itself,” said Kevin Shields, and so he went thither, and sought the whole day, but when it came to an end, he had only found one hundred, and what was written on the tablet came to pass, and he was changed into stone.

So then the turn came to Kramer, who sought in the moss. It was, however, so hard to find the pearls, and he got on so slowly, that he seated himself on a stone, and wept. And while he was thus sitting, the King of the ants whose life he had once saved, came with five thousand ants, and before long the little creatures had got all the pearls together, and laid them in a heap. The second task, however, was to fetch out of the lake the key of the King's daughter's bed-chamber. When Kramer came to the lake, the ducks which he had saved, swam up to him, dived down, and brought the key out of the water. But the third task was the most difficult; from amongst the three sleeping daughters of the King was the youngest and dearest to be sought out. They, however, resembled each other exactly, and were only to be distinguished by their having eaten different sweetmeats before they fell asleep; the eldest a bit of sugar; the second a little syrup; and the youngest a spoonful of honey. Then the Queen of the bees, which Kramer had protected from the fire, came and tasted the lips of all three, and at last she remained sitting on the mouth which had eaten honey, and thus the wee chimp recognized the right princess. Then the enchantment was at an end; everything was released from sleep, and those who had been turned to stone received once more their natural forms. Kramer married the youngest and sweetest princess, after asking her which nursery she went to, and after her father's death became King, for after all, it is better to be simple and kind-hearted than lame and kind of mean to animals like Kevin is in this story.

Worker Bee, Commuter Bee

2009-07-11T22:50:00.003+01:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/8064562.stm

"Commuting several times a day," said their employer of this practice. One bee, who chose to be identified only by the alias Max Weber, described her work in more detail:

"O god! What an exhausting job I've chosen! On the move day in, day out. The business worries are far worse than they are on the actual premises at home, and on top of that I'm saddled with the strain of all this travelling, the anxiety about bridges, the bad and irregluar meals, the constant stream of changing faces with no chance of any warmer, lasting companionship. The devil take it all!"

Bees Go Pop!

2009-06-28T18:39:00.039+01:00

With so much bee related music on the market and blogosphere today, it can all be a bit overwhelming and confusing for you consumers just looking to get some rad bee songs. This frustration leads to people giving up and settling for music with foxes and wolves in the titles, which is so drone. To make your lives a lot more buzzy, I have compiled mixtape of bee music for you. It's not exhaustive, but it should keep you going till it's time to swarm and find another beegirl or boy's bloggy woggy to colonise. I should probably add: the songs are not in order of preference which explains why the Olivia Tremor Control are at 33, and Frank Zappa at 44.

1.Mercury Rev - Chasing a Bee

This is probably my favourite bee song ever. I only enquired about Mercury Rev recently which is really strange, since this is exactly the sort of sinuous dream music I love. The video is beautiful. It has a chimp http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOuMd9cAs60

2. The Sugarcubes - Bee

I think Bjork works better in a pop band. I can't find a good video for Bee, so you can watch Motorcrash which is naff but also brilliant.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_D6nxAa7rA

3. Xiu Xiu - I Love the Valley

Jamie Stewart delivers his lines in a way that is forceful yet fragile, sarcastic yet sincere. The music really stings your soul, and in a mixture of awe and masochism, you want it to go on stinging you forever. This song will go down in history as one of the classic bee songs.

4. The Smiths - Reel Around The Fountain

I could copy and paste the entire song here, because it's so beautiful. The most relevant, and probably the best section, is:
"I dreamt about you last nightand
I fell out of bed twice
you can pin and mount me
like a butterfly
But take me to the haven of your bed
was something that you never said
two lumps, please
you're the bee's knees
but so am I"

My favourite line isn't even the bee line, but the "You can pin and mount me like a butterfly." It reminds me of Porphyria's Lover by Robert Browning, in which the persona strangles his lover, using her own hair, to preserve her at the moment when she loves him. It makes me think of Nabokov too, by the marriage of sexual longing, obsession and entomology.

To add to it's bee-ness, Morrissey says the song was influenced by A Taste of Honey by Shelagh Delaney.

5. Of Montreal - Happy Yellow Bumblebee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm2mAyQ_JMU

I'm not a big Of Montreal fan, but they do have very good bee credentials. As well as having this song, and a couple of other bee ones, the man (brother of the main band guy) who does their artwork has a website called The Bee With Wheels http://www.thebeewithwheels.com/ which is worth taking a look at.

6. Animal Collective - Bees

It's a shame that Animal Collective's most bee song isn't a very good stand-alone track. This isn't so much a criticism though -when you listen to it after The Purple Bottle, it flows well and fits perfectly into the album.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_leV7zskgw

Animal Collective also have a pretty amazing tshirt with bees on, which my friend Thomas has.

7. The Jesus and Mary Chain - Just Like Honey

Everyone knows this song, don't they?

8. The Bumblebees - My Kaleidoscope
When I first heard of the Bumblebees, I had my reservations: here was a band venerating themselves with a name that was pure bee. Then I discovered they make fun catchy pop music:http://www.myspace.com/thebumblebeesinfestya

9. Guided By Voices - Beekeeper Seeks Ruth

Even if GBV didn't have songs about bees, they would still be the best band ever.

10. Guided By Voices - Bomb In the Beehive

I would post a video of this song, but the film is not for view, the film is not for you...

11. Harvey Milk - Where the Bee Sucks, There Such I

I'm not really a Harvey Milk fan, so I'll just quote the real Harvey Milk: "If a bullet should enter my brain, let the bullet destroy every closet door."

12. Wilco - Muzzle of Bees

I don't mind Wilco, but this is quite a boring song. I find it really hard to listen to what he's singing because the main riff sounds so descant and off putting. There's a really gratuitous guitar solo at the end too :S http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGHtVWWXIdU

13. Harry and the Potters - Hermione's Birds and Bees

Wizard rock is a really good idea. There's a documentary about it which I can't remember the name of, but my friend told me about it, and it sounds fantastic.

14. She Keeps Bees - Strike

I don't know if its their sparsity or that the songs are simple that make She Keeps Bees not very good . They're like an inverted White Stripes doing shite PJ Harvey covers. Inverted in that the gender roles have been inverted... They must be relying too much on the singer's voice being all strong and gothic, because there's not much good lyriclaly. (I see I've made a wee typo there, but I'm wanting this to be all free-flowing au naturale. Trying to be more 'blog' which is hard, since I'm really more of a 'book' person.) Too much GGG.. Bflat Bflat Bflat... AAA... GGG... type songs by this band. buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

http://www.myspace.com/shekeepsbees

15. Captain Beefheart - Ant Man Bee

"You've got t' set us free
Uhuru ant man bee uhuru ant man bee
Now the bee takes his honey then he sets the flower free
But in God's garden only
Man 'n the ants
They won't set each other be"

Trout Mask Replica. Over 40 years on, this is still a breath of fresh air. I don't understand why Captain Beefheart isn't more popular with the kids, especially the Tom Waits fans.

16. Cursive - The Radiator Hums

oh foolish worker bee:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uTrnbbizyI&feature=related

A band who are best summed up by the phrase: 7/10

17. Deerhoof - Polly Bee

Deerhoof are pretty fantastic :)

18. Final Fantasy - Fantasy

Mariah Carey cover from the son of entomologists. Youtubing this made me realise how sick I am of 'indiegirls' expressing their regret that he is gay. Sarah24862,you are as bad as boys who post pictures of Bat For Lashes on music forums, and only for slightly different reasons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O_yyEA72HE

19. Laura Cantrell - The Bee

John Peel said Laura Cantrell's first album was one of the most perfect records he'd had ever heard. Lots of kids seem to recoil at country music for some reason though. Not that this particular track is 'country', it's one of her more Judee Sill sort of ones. A very good use of bees in a song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0KQ_ZcQyT8

20. Manowar - Sting of the Bumblebee
lolololol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xuXJF909bI

21. Garageland - Beelines to Heaven

They've captured what it is to be a bee in a Weezerlike perfect pop

fashion:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRBG9nXV1sk

22. Baby Dee - Big Titty Bee Girl from Dino Town

This is a very good video. It's made me want to make my bee costume as soon as possible and act like the girls in the song. I saw a woman dressed up as a bee at the Glasgow West End Festival recently, but didn't have my camera on me unfortunately.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FoRsYhwTLI

23. Melt Banana - I Free the Bee

I don't like music like Melt Banana, but I like Melt Banana. Actually, when I read back that sentence, I can't think of other music that is like Melt Banana. I guess what I mean is...I don't like noise; that's what drone bees listen to.

24. Wolf Parade - Kissing the Beehive

I really liked Apologies to the Queen Mary back in the day, when I used to download copious amounts of music. I haven't heard anything else off At Mount Zoomer, so I can't like tell you what I think of it. But based on this song alone, it's pretty meh. Also, it's pretty long. Cool name though.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2shLapSNr0U

25. Mount Eerie - Twenty Bees
I've not heard enough Mount Eerie, but what I have heard has been really nice. I would go out and buy some tomorrow, but I imagine their albums to be in the really rare hand-made sleeves really expensive import section and that's a lot of effort. They can come to me.

26. Billie Piper - Honey to the Bee

I really like Billie Piper, she was good in Dr. Who.

27. Joanna Newsom - Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie

I’m not going to explain and justify why Joanna Newsom is in my top 10 songwriters of all time, because I might make you sick. If you read this review, you’ll understand what I mean http://drownedinsound.com/gigs/21299/reviews/1412887

"And some machines are dropped from great heights lovingly

And some great bellies ache with many bumblebees

And they sting so terribly"
Joanna AWESOME!

28. Wu Tang Clan - Clan in da Front
"Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm
Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm
Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm
Wu-Tang Killa Beez, we on a swarm"

29. Belly - the Bees

Youtube video of pregnant woman with bee on belly. Apparently the bee can sing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOB_FcDKM4I

30. They Might Be Giants - Birdhouse in Your Soul
"Not to put too fine a point on it

Say Im the only bee in your bonnet

Make a little birdhouse in your soul"

Theres a good live version of this, but I cant find it, soz. I have a chronic neurological anomaly that means I confuse They Might Be Giants with Young Marble Giants. At the same time I know they are completely different and that I love YMG. Its worse with My Chemical Romance and My Bloody Valentine, who have THE SAME NAME.

31. Murder - When the Bees are Sleeping
First of all, Murder is a really shit name for a band. ‘Professor Murder’ is good, but Murder is awful; especially for a Southern Gothic Americana two piece from Copenhagen. They do sound very authentically American though, and despite their GRUESOME TWOSOME sounding name, are inoffensive. They are no killer bees.

32. The Bird and the Bee - Again and Again
I have no idea what this video is meant to be. I’ve decided it’s satirical. The bit at the end where the computer purchases the song for you is the most creepy. Good job, Steve Jobs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kxDxLAjkO8od

33. The Olivia Tremor Control - Another Set of Bees in the Museum
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vtyPhVKByg

Up there with Reel Around the Fountain and Chasing a Bee, this is one of the all-time bee classics. The phrase “This generation’s the Beatles, on acid!!!1” is banded about a lot these days, but I think the Olivia Tremor are deserving of this accolade, for the nineties at least.

34. Dan Deacon - Snake Mistakes
"Why won't these bees leave me alone
These bees get me and I say Ow
Why won't these bees leave me alone
I hate them bees "

This guy is clearly an idiot who knows nothing about bees.

35. Clem Snide - Beard of Bees
I think I’ve negated my fondness for simple singer songwriter-y music a bit too much recently, because I surprised myself by liking this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Deqe9fpCLoY

36. My Brother's Blood Machine - Wayne Andrews, Keeper of the Bees
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9nDCQYd4Ws

I really don’t care for the style of singing in this song, and it’s quite boring anyway.

37. The Bees – Voices Green and Purple
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9nDCQYd4Ws

Thanks to the Nuggets compilations, wonderful psychedelic songs like this aren’t obscure and hard to find. There’s something punk about this song too, check the cover

38. Caribou – Bee

I’ve not heard any Caribou until now.
From what I’ve heard of Caribou, it’s like if Neu! were trying to be Americana, which is gut.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiMQ5r5y78g&feature=related
+
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd-A-iiPoLg
=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqdQGdf8ado&feature=fvw

39. Styrofoam - Beequeenbeep
beep beep glitch beep tick bleepbleep BUZZZ

Think the Postal Service without the pop song sensibilities and (albeit cringe-worthy) lyrics that actually mean something. Or maybe this is part of a boring sub-genre I am too cool to know the existence of...

40. Adam and the Amethysts – Bumblebee

http://www.myspace.com/theamethysts

Pretty solid Canadian indie pop, but nothing to waggle about.

41. Sonic Youth - Bee-Bee's Song
This song has absolutely nothing to do with bees :(

42. Taj Mahal - Queen Bee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjpIijRirUs
ooooooooooo ma honeybeeeeeeeeee. This song makes me happy, even though it’s not, like, good.

43. Oneida - Busy Little Bee
I can’t hear this song properly, just a 30 second free sample. I’m not very zavi, so I don’t have things like spotify and twitter to listen to it on either!

44. Frank Zappa - Montana

"But I'd be raisin' my lonely Dental Floss

Raisin' my lonely Dental Floss

Well I just might grow me some bees

But I'd leave the sweet stuff

For somebody else... "

One day, I’m going to get really into Frank Zappa and buy his entire back catalogue and worship him as my god. That’s the only acceptable way to get into Frank Zappa.

45. Nirvana – Beeswax

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0IC1uQjHMY

Yeah so Nirvana are actually really good, but one of those bands I like who I hardly ever listen to. I guess it makes me think of when I was 13 and also liked the Red Hot Chili Peppers and was awful and obnoxious.

46. David Sylvian - Secrets of the Beehive

This is an album, but I thought it deserved some mention. Japan are pretty cool. I only know about them from the b-side Life Without Buildings which Life Without Buildings are names after though.

47. The Field Mice – Humblebee
If I’ve downloaded the right song, this is AWFUL. I really don’t like The Field Mice album I bought once for £2. This was about 5 years ago. Very disappointing. I might listen to it again one day.

48. Beestung Lips - Men Not Worth Their Weight

http://www.myspace.com/beestunglips1

I quite like this new band. Birmingham has some really good bands like Ace Bushy Striptease, Calories and like Johnny Foreigner <33349.>

50. Future of the Left - Kept By Bees

Being kept by bees. That’s an interesting idea. Pretty subversive to the establishment and stuff.

51. Devendra Banhart – Queen Bee

I’ve never been a fan of the term ‘Queen Bee’ to describe a woman. It normally describes sociopaths rather than leaders.

52. Monty Python – Eric the Half-A-Bee

I always try to end a mixtape with a novelty song. If I ever get round to writing to any of these people for the rights to compile a bee double album, this will play us out. Bill O’Reilly: What does that mean?!?!?!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iSssOpLTPM

City Bees

2009-06-26T17:46:00.010+01:00

Honeybees are predominantly a white, middle class, rural dwelling, Which? magazine subscribing vegetarian hating, New Labour Holy Grail, right? Wrong. (You're probably thinking of bumblebees.) Urban honeybeekeeping is a thriving vocation in the UK today, with 5,000 hives in London alone - meaning bees outnumber people in London by about 30 to 1 at the height of summer. These are no Sloane apis mellifera (pl).

Today's monocultural farming is so inadequate that from the honeybee's perspective (of which there are five, none of which include the colour red) the city is the best place to source a diverse range of pollen. Great news for honeylovers: this orgiastic recipe produces award-winning honey such as Greater London honey, which won first prize in the Open International Category at the 2003 National Honey Show. Urban honey also retains the well-known medicinal properties that commercial non-organic honey production often relinquishes.

London Beekeepers Association http://www.lbka.org.uk/

London honey as a result, is in high demand. Try the beautiful Hive Honey Shop in Clapham http://www.thehivehoneyshop.co.uk/ and tell me what you think (I live over 400km away from it, sadly).

Despite the upsurge in urban beekeeping in recent years, many common misconceptions and unfounded fears surrounding bees are still prevalent. This was illustrated perfectly on Wednesday afternoon in Glasgow city centre when a swarming colony in West Reagent Street brought traffic to a stand-still. Police cordoned off the street, re-directed traffic and warned residents and office workers to remain inside until the panic was over. If it wasn't for a beekeeper who arrived at the scene to contain and transport the swarm, according to a council spokesperson, local authority pest control would have killed the bees. The British Beekeepers Association described the closure of the entire street as an overreaction.

It is possible that the police took these measures to avoid further panic, knowing that it was unnecessary. Yet it is worrying that such a state of panic ensued in the first place; a colony of bees is at its most benign when bundled together in a swarm. More worrying still is the tragic turn Wednesday's events could have taken had it not been for the quirk of fate that meant the mysterious beekeeper was there to do the right thing.

The UK has lost over a third of its honeybee population in the past five years. The cities are a safe haven where this trend of rapid bee depopulation isn't a problem. Metropolises are going to have to become accustomed to bees, and prepared for more instances like the one in Glasgow on Wednesday.

A funny video of urban beekeepinghttp://current.com/items/88792336_honey-comb-featuring-jon-rolston-urban-beekeeper.htm

Dogs who look like bees

2009-05-25T22:17:00.013+01:00

It's not funny.

The Beekeeper's Daughter

2009-05-22T21:15:00.011+01:00

As the daughter of an apiarist, the mind of Sylvia Plath was permeated by bees. She had planned to collect her five Bee poems under one succinctly named heading 'Bees,' and considered them the culmination of what she described in a letter to her mother as her "genius" as a writer. Written in the space of one week, shortly followed by some of her more famous work (Lady Lazarus, Daddy), the Bee poems don't receive the attention I think they deserve. This may have something to do with Ted Hughes version of Ariel, which placed them in the middle, not the culminating end, as Plath probably would have.

Her most notable Bee poem 'The Bee Meeting' is an example of what Hughes described as "poems which seem often to be constructed of arbitrary surreal symbols [but]are really impassioned, reorganisations of relevant fact." - Introduction to Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams. "Bee" may be a pun refering the community social gathering sense of the word, eg. a quilting bee. This pun along with the continul paranoid questioning: why did nobody tell me?, Is she hiding, is she eating honey? sort of serve to enhance the ritualistic, sacrificial impression we get of the villagers of North Tawton, Devon as they were at 6.30pm on Thursday, 7th January 1962 (four months before the poem was written).

19th century quilting bee

They are making me one of them, the speaker says of the village people. But it is the bees who she chooses to identify with, in Wintering: It is they who own me

One of the most insightful analyses of The Bee Meeting I have come across is by Stewart Clarke on http://www.sylviaplathforum.com/. He concludes that "With its distinctly malevolent subtext of pollination and insemination, and with an "annunciation" heralded by Plath not three days before, it seems clear that, at the deepest level, the central meaning of the poem is this: in the process of "The Bee Meeting," the speaker is subjected to a ritualized, incestuous form of coitus with her daemon, her father, "The Bee God" (see Ted Hughes' "Birthday Letters") and is now carrying their dark child in her womb. "

Bees are knowing creatures, and Plath herself was erudite enough to be aware of this. They are intrinsically embroiled with her conception of her father. That is why this poem is so momentous.

The full poem can be viewed here: http://www.badbeekeeping.com/plath.htm

Original first drafts of the poem 'Stings' can be seen here: http://www.english.illinois.edu/maps/poets/m_r/plath/stingsdrafts.htm

I've mentioned on here before what a champion of bee-gifts I am. Therefore it was with delight and glee that I came across these beautiful hand-crafted 'Arrival of the Bee Box' earrings.

"Sparkly and texty dangle earrings are both "book" and jewelry. Two copper-toned charms frame two carefully selected "windows" from Sylvia Plath's electric poem "The Arrival of the Bee Box." These windows capture both the vertical and horizontal arrangement of words from the poem. The text in these earrings is extracted from a vintage book in which the pages are the perfect color. This is the only book I'm using for these charms, so each one is absolutely one of a kind. Earrings feature blue glass birds and tiny green glass leaves accented with bright and tiny magenta glass beads. Gold-tone fishhooks. Dangles measure two inches. Elegant and intriguing" - Michelle Detorie.

These are such a must-have for anyone with pierced ears, and something I strongly recommend getting your ears pierced for.

happy

2009-05-16T12:25:00.001+01:00

Bee Gifts

2009-05-15T23:10:00.009+01:00

Bee-loving readers will empathise with the frustration I often feel when trying to find good bee themed things on the internet. Google searches are often fruitless and thus provide no pollen - only I LOVE THE BEE GEES tshirts &c. So in a way, I'm performing my version of the waggle when I share with you this site: http://www.beegifts.com/default.aspx. They're the market leaders in bee gifts and have been around since 1968(I wonder what made them decide to start a shop selling bee-related goods in 1968...reverie). It's always nice to come across businesses and services that make you feel like they were invented especially for your ridiculous and specific interest and not some other niche market for other people with inexplicable, "who would want this shit?" obsessions. Or y'know, stuff 4 the masses.

I really like this necklace, but I already have one similar minus the bee

Finding beegifts, led me to an EVEN better bee gift sit: http://www.bee-direct.com/index.html. It has a Bee Direct Buzz-Line for orders, and more (and nicer) products for sale.

-I've had a lot of complaints that this site isn't contemporary enough, and propagates outdated and esoteric beliefs. So for the next few posts, I'm going to focus on the problems facing bees today.

NOT THE BEES!

2009-04-17T16:50:00.002+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo&NR=1

Bee-ware

2009-03-27T20:28:00.007Z

In a recent survey, 94% of people said they would not like to be stung by a bee (2% said they were indifferent, 3% said they didn't know and only 1% would actively seek a sting. Source: MORI 2008). A single bee sting may not kill you, but it's a pain we all want to avoid for our children's sake in the coming summer months, with spring now once again upon us. But are stings the worst of our bee-worries?

The answer should simply bee "no." Sadly, the true dangers of bees have been grossly underplayed however. Another form of attack by predatory bees, although less common, is lethal in almost every case. Virtually unknown, this practise involves a swarm of bees surrounding its victim in a large ball. The bees cover the entire surface area of their victim, vibrating vigourously to create a rapidly increasing, insulated ball of heat. Often the heat is enough to claim the life of the victim.

This image showing the last moments of man who died from the lethal dose of heat has shocked our bee-mad country and prompted condemnation from all 16 main political parties, including the Polish Bee-Lovers Party. Adam Wallace, 40, was attacked shortly after 2pm on Friday 13th July 2012, near his home in Essex. His wife Anne paid tribute, saying "Adam was a wonderful man, with so much to live for. He loved sport and was really excited about seeing the Tug of War event at the Olympics next month. I had warned him to bee careful on Friday the Thirteenth, but he didn't believe in superstitions and approached a gang of young bees when he was out walking Dirk (Mr. and Mrs. Wallace's dog - ed)." Police have appealed for witnesses to come forward, and reminded card-holding members of the general public not to approach groups of bees.

Adam Wallace's end should serve as a harrowing warning to us all.

DISCLAIMERZ: this is my own imaginings of what newspaper journalism will have become in a few years.

Missing Cat

2009-03-24T21:16:00.002Z

On Honey and Pleasure

2009-03-24T17:07:00.006Z

Manuscript from the Aberdeen bestiary

A great care and concern of bees is making honey and wax, but even greater is storing it, whence Virgil rightly calls them frugal. They do not feast like flies, but are considered very clean, for no bee lights in filthy places or those which smell bad. The natural food for the bee is the rose, thyme, bee-balm, poppy, bean-blossom, the lentil, the pea, basil, and clover, for which they gather their morning dew, from which they make honey, from which they make wax.

The best honey making is what is made from thyme, and on this account Sicilian and Attic honey bear the palm because of the abundance of sweetness and thyme. Certain authors write about Pontic and Spanish honey in which there is the force of poison, but it is pointless to discuss this when we are seeking what creates pleasure. Honey is the only substance which spits its dregs out on top; the heavier it is the better. Honey is praised differently from wine; the latter is valued because it is old and moist, the former because it is fresh and warm.

Charles Butler in the History of Bees, 1623: "Hoonni cleareth all the obstructions of the body, lossenth the belly, purgeth the foulness of the body and provoketh urine. It cutteth and casteth up Flegmatic matter and therefore sharpneth the stomachs of them, which by reason thereof have little appetite; it purgeth those things which hurt the clearness of the eyes and nourisheth very much. It breedeth good blood it sturreth up and preserveth natural heat and prolongeth old age; physicians do temper therewith such medicines as they mean keep long; yea the bodys of the dead, being enbalmed with Hoonni, have been thereby preserved from putrefaction. It is drunk against the biting of a Serpent or mad Dog and it is good for them, which have eaten mushrooms or drunk Poppy; against which evil Rosed-hoonni is taken warm. It is also good for falling sickness and better than wine because it can-not arise to the head as wine doeth. Hoonni is most fit for old men, women and children, for such as rheumatic and flegmatic and generally for all that are of cold temperature. To young men and that of a hot constitution is not so good because it easily turned into kholer."

Cooked honey is considered better than raw, for it does not bloat one so much or increase pains on the midriff or bile. Summer honey is better than autumn, for it agrees with bodies which are cold and damp, heals many ills, does not allow bodies to decay, is considered best in preserving apples, gourds, citron and nuts, and creates mouth-watering appeal in many foods.

For centuries, German women concocted a remedy called Salvemet, of honey and crushed bees, which was taken on St. Catherine's Day. It was thought to have a beautifying and strengthening effect and to regulate the menstrual cycle. There is much evidence, in folklore and art, of medieval rural peoples' belief in the thaumatugical properties of honey and bees. In the Journal of American folklore, there is an illustrative tale of Mr. Mark Flaherty who after hearing voices and seeing a man crawl towards him, saw his hair turn grey overnight. Mark Flaherty became an emaciated insomniac. On the advice of a beggar, he rubbed his entire body with honey and his hair went dark again and he fully recovered. It is believed that in taking pollen from flowers, bees suck the strength from them, which acts as a magical remedy when mixed with their own honey. Mark Flaherty never heard the voices again.

Dangers: causes thirst and undergoes changes

Neutralisation of the Dangers: With sour apples.

Chimps and Bees

2009-03-18T11:54:00.002Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7946614.stm

This story has my favourite thing in it (chimps) and is bee-related.

I saw a really cool programme recently about a chimp fashioning a brush tool out of a stick to get termites more efficiently. They're actually so clever and amazing in every way.

Come Zine With Me

2009-03-12T18:26:00.002Z

I did a contribution for a Come Dine With Me zine.

If I were to go on Come Dine With Me, and got to choose my fellow contestants, I would invite:
1. Waylon Smithers; 2. Kirk Van Houten aka Milhouse's dad; 3. Hans Moleman; 4. Edna Krabappel; 5. Marge Simpson, because there aren't enough television programme crossovers.

Marge is first to arrive, and we shyly chat for a few minutes until Milhouse's dad arrives followed shortly after by Edna Krabappel who asks for a drink. I make some Flaming Moes for my guests to ease the flow of converstion. Hans Moleman arrives with a bouquet of flowers which I recieve very gratefully. He also brings a machine to chew his food for him, a food processor. Smithers arrives almost half an hour late, out of breath, claiming he was chased by a SWARM OF BEES. He says he's allergic to bee stings and had to seek medical attention. I tell him off for having unsavoury thoughts and prompting the attack, and he gets mad. I can tell he's going to give me a low score.

--------------------------------------

MENU

Appetiser: A single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat

Starter: Vaseline on toast

Main: Three-eyed fish and chips with Tom Collins pot pie.

Dessert: Mr. Burns' Old-Fashioned, Good Time, Extra-Chewy Cookies

-----------------------------------------

My appetiser goes down really well with everyone apart from Smithers, who's been in a bad mood all night. Starter is a real hit, especially with Milhouse's dad who claims to have invented the dish. Before the main course, Marge warns me she is allergic to seafood. I think fast and offer her some Tic Tacs in my purse, which she seems quite satisfied with. Phew, quick save.

But then disaster strikes. Fire. The Tom Collins pie and three-eyed fish and chips are just ashes, inedible. I have no option but to jump from my burning kitchen window, and run across the road to Krusty Burger. I pray my guests won't notice the imposture.

I get back to find Hans Moleman alone in the dining room, so I go in search of the others. I find Marge smelling my linen closet enthusiastically and Smithers scoffing at my shoddy Malibu Stacey collection. Edna Krabappel and Milhouse's dad are in the pantry, canoodling! Edna has on the hat her plum was served in and reeks of cheap perfume. Milhouse's dad asks if I'm going to tell his wife, and I say "No, you're divorced up by this point," and he starts to cry. Edna, who is obviously very drunk, slaps him and goes back into the dining room to sit on Hans Moleman's lap.

Everybody sufficiently enjoys their Krusty Burgers, apart from me because I'm a vegetarian.
Smithers is really pleased by my choice of dessert, but I don't think it will be enough for him to give me a good score. I ask my guests to lick their spoons clean after use, which they do. Hans Moleman asks if he can lick his plate.

My scores are as follows:
Marge - a kind 9
Edna - 6
Milhouse's dad - 8
Hans Moleman - 58
Smithers - 2

Tom Collins Pot Pie Recipe
ingredients: pie crust, cloves, tom collins mix
instructions: add cloves and tom collins mix to pie crust
makes 1 serving

BEE THOUSAND

2009-03-10T19:48:00.013Z

Guest starring Robert Pollard

Sabrina has the opportunity to go with her friends to see Guided By Voices at a midnight signing of their latest album 'Alien Lanes,' but her aunts refuse to let her go to the signing in Boston without adult supervision. Sabrina automatically thinks to call off the trip altogether rather than get all embarrassed by her aunts, because that's the sort of thing her character would do <3
Not wanting to disapoint Sabrina, her aunts turn themselves into seventeen and eighteen year old '90s lo-fi indiegirls. Hilda wears an Elephant 6 tshirt, and Zelda goes for a less obvious, sort of grungy look.

Sabrina introduces her aunts as her cousins - Hilary and Celery Benn. In the car Harvey puts on GBV, but Hilda complains about the recording quality "it sounds like they recorded it at home." Sabrina blushes.

Libby: "Robert Pollard, Robert Pollard, Robert Pollard."
Hilary: "What are you doing?"
Libby: "Reminding myself why I'm in this clown car."

On arrival in Boston, the group find it to be a cold wait in the queue to meet GBV. Hilary and Celery act really lame and complain a lot. However, Gordie starts crushing on Celery because she has a seemingly precocious view of the world, and also looks cool.

Gordie, sighing with admiration: "Let's start with how you got such an unusual name. Celery"
Celery: "It rhymes with Zellary!"

Hilary gets into a fight with a security guard, and soon both teenage aunts are turning to Sabrina for advice. The novice but level-headed teenage witch offers sound advice, getting Hilary to apologise to the security guard and telling Celery to let Gordie down gently.

The gang finally manages to get in to see GBV, and Libby tries to use magical powers she read in a book to get Robert Pollard to notice her. The *actual* witches take pity on her and cast a spell to make the band play the whole of Alien Lanes, which is my favourite GBV album, and a temporary infatuation spell to make him fancy Libby.

[N.B. If this episode is ever made, the other members of GBV will be played by actors, and are miming along a CD of Alien Lanes.]

Everybody dances, but Hilary and Celery fall asleep after a while and are heard snoring during Ex-Supermodel. When the band finish 'playing' Pollard goes to Libby and exclaims "I recorded that album about you even before I knew you existed!"
He invites Libby back to his place to help him make a lesson plan for the next day, for his job as an elementary school teacher (for the sake of argument, he is still a teacher when this episode takes place). Libby asks Sabrina to come, but to also dinghy her loser cousins. Sabrina is too awesome to be mean to her aunts, and pointblank refuses.

Libby hangs out with Robert Pollard, but once the infatuation spell wears off, he realises what a bint she really is and makes her go home. Meanwhile, back in Westbridge, Sabrina's aunts reward her by letting her ride a vacuum cleaner about the skies of Massachusetts that night. Robert Pollard sees her and calls her over to tell her he's also a witch, and he'll get her guestlisted for any GBV gigs she wants to attend in the Other Realm.

Please bee my friend

2009-03-09T15:02:00.010Z

In much of the iconography of bees, a swarm of bees is shown flying around a person's head to indicate that the person is prone to idle, flattering or even homicidal thoughts. In the half century between c. 1480 and c.1530 there are at least fifteen known examples of this in art. The earliest known, dates from the early 1480s on the bas-de-page illustration of a calendar, in the month of September. It shows an old man with straggly hair offering wine to a young girl, whose hand he is holding. In his other hand he waves a branch to ward off what look like flies or bees. The use of the animals in this picture serve to point out that the couple are "Unequal Lovers" and he should get aff with someone his own age.

I think the Scots idiom heid full of beis is related in origin to this motif. See also: 'To have a bee in one's bonnet.'

"Broodingly suggestive" says Poet Laureate, Andrew Motion "of Donne's intellectual vigour as well as his witty sensuality. The decision to glue on dead bees by the curating staff at the National Gallery is a really nice touch."

Genghis Khan apparently learned to live with constant swarms surrounding him

Employing careful anamorphic perspective, Holbein painted The Ambassadors so that when viewed from above, the head of the sitter on the left (Jean de Dinteville) appears as a beehive.

A spokesperson for Mr. Salmond claims this incident was sparked by the synthetic flower which adorned the First Minister's suit and categorically denied accusations of underlying thoughts of self-aggrandisement made by Wendy Alexander who was the Labour leader at the time of the bee attack.

Marriage, birth or buryin'

2009-03-07T20:34:00.013Z

News across the seas,
All you're sad or merry in,
You must tell the Bees.

Look at this idiot trying to catch bees

Bees are born out of corruption, from the decaying flesh of calves or oxen, and have no sex. A simple monarchical social and legal framework underpins the world of Bees, and is based on custom. Unlike most traditional custom-based legal systems however, Bee law is enforced entirely autonomously: discipline, punishment and justice are administered by a self-inflicted and fatal sting. This does little to abate the obsequiousness of Bees to their King however. The religious designation of Bees has been widely debated, though evidence exists of Bees humming at midnight on Christmas Eve to honour the birth of Jesus.

Crimes include failing to fulfil duties of guarding food, monitoring weather patterns, making honey and making wax. Other offences: intentionally stinging without reasonable grounds, swearing and breaking the smoking ban are seen as capital. Bees were the first known culture to establish such a ban, in the 2nd century CE, which is reportedly due to their fear of smoke. Once dead, it is possible to revive a bee with the body of an ox or bull if he is sufficiently covered with mud, according to the Franciscan monk Bartholomaeus Anglicus.

Bees have (been) kept (by) humans for thousands of years for their honey, beeswax and good company. Every monastery had an apiary to make wax for the church candles (though honey did not go to waste, as it was either used in the making of mead or trickled on weetabix). Farms and noble households also kept swarms, but for some reason it's not that popular today. Bees were caught in late spring and kept in 'skeps' until the honey was ready in autumn.

During this time, Bees would listen to any stories or information their keepers thought necessary to tell them, such as death in the family. If anything crucial was omitted, it was quite within the rights of the Bees to swarm and leave the hive forever. To break the news of the death, the teller would knock on the hive with the key to the house and say, for example: "Bees, bees, your master's dead, and now you must work for your missus".

There is even record of bees attending the funerals of their keepers, inside their hives draped in black and lifted at the same moment as the coffin. Although these customs are not still observed today, it is common politeness to inform your Bees of any drastic changes in the household.